An agile mind must work like a parachute. If it is not open, you will fail.
That’s a quote a borrowed from Frank Zappa.
Sentences, which start with “as adults we should …” are always a bit difficult to digest for me, because they already imply what you are pointing at. Literally you are saying, that everyone, who misbehaves, is not an adult. But what are they by then?
Also I am getting annoyed by these kind of discussions as well, which are not rational anymore, but become very emotional. Someone feels somehow threatened by a topic or a statement, because it affects and she/he does not know how to treat it. Even for something new, where we have any experience that we can count on, it can be devastating. But it destroys the debate at that point, if the personal impact is affecting the discussion.
I guess what you want to say is: be humble. I also would want to say: stay in these discussions and bring the back to the topic. Accept that people might not be able to follow ideas at that moment. Make their threats your arguments.
I believe, the misbehavior and missing humility in discussion is not a problem of agile only, it is a problem of our society. Who does really engage in solving disputes? It really takes time and a lot of patience. In times where we are moving that fast, that we even do hard to follow, this becomes a tough exercise we need to face. But, as humans we must be able to…